My plan to BQ at Brookings began over a year ago in March 2012. That was the month I started training on an injured foot for the race. I had just come off of Disney and had yet to find out why I had to walk to the finish of that race in severe pain. I was registered for Brookings on May 12, 2012 and as luck would have it, I ended up in a boot with a stress fracture the week of the race. I now knew what was wrong with my foot! However, I never made it to the race. The road that led me there was a long hard lesson learned by a determined endurance athlete that was not willing to give up while in pain. The defeat and absolute lack of control over the situation landed me in a depression. Since then, I have learned to listen to my body, train differently, and manage my injuries with a great deal of success!
A year later, I decided to give it another try and go for my BQ on my 39th birthday in Brookings on May 11, 2013. As irony would have it, the universe handed me one heck of a butt kicking the month of April! Now that it is the week of the race, I have let go of the expectation to BQ. At this point, I will be lucky to finish the race in one piece! I have all of my running injuries firing up since I was unable to complete the workouts the past few months and I will be running for the first time without KT on me! All in all, I am still excited to go. My family will be with me and I plan to run with my dad and brother Luke. I am a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason and exactly how it is supposed to.
I just finished reading a book written by a buddy of mine and Eric's - "Unlikely Finisher 140.6" by Dale Petelinsek. This book has helped re-inspire me for Brookings this weekend. After following Dale through the trials of his training, I realize that we all have our battles and inner demons to fight. Each marathon I run hurts. I run each one as fast as I can. There are depths that I am taken to that I would never reach without this forced exertion. Outside of delivering my children, no other event in my life pushes me to this point of exhaustion, pain, and desire to give up. I spend close to 4 hours of sweat, pain, tears, and sometimes blood, talking myself out of quitting. That's really what the medal is all about in the end. Crossing that finish line is not about winning, it is all about NOT GIVING UP. The victory of not giving up on yourself.
So, for my 39th birthday, I will run and I will finish the Brookings marathon. I will be untrained and injured, but I will run with my dad and brother, I will hope to finish with them both, and I will enjoy the victory of finishing a race - not with a BQ - but with the people in my life that have never given up on me and have never let me give up on myself.
Then, this Fall, I will find my next race and get my BQ.